Torn
by purecraziness
Summary: Ignore it or face it? Kensi's got to decide.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everybody! This is a four-part story that has been in my mind for a while now. Hope ya'll enjoy my small vocabulary and constant usage of the same word. ;) Mistakes are all mine. Let me know if you find any!  
**

**Disclaimer: Just a broke college student. I'm too poor to own NCIS: LA or any of the characters.**

**Chapter One**

The workday has already been over with for several hours and though she is exhausted, she is still not ready to call it a night. During the day, the team had to deal with the usual; bad guy tries to blow up an important building, possibly killing hundreds of people, and then they swoop in to end it all. Somehow, even through the regular routine, something had changed. Something between her and her partner was different. She can't figure out if it was the banter, the flirting that sits right at the line, the intensity between them, the tension of the case, or a strange mix of all four. Whatever it was has her missing him more than she likes to admit though.

Thinking about it more at this moment, she realizes that is has been different for a while now. The glances they share standing in OSP have lasted longer than they used to. The shoulder bumps and random touches have started to burn a tiny bit more causing sparks across her skin. When he has to flirt with some chick, the green-eyed monster shows his ugly face clearer. The nicknames and mention of little mutant ninja assassins she used to hate are now sounding not that bad. And all of this scares her the most. It worries her more than dealing with drug dealers or terrorists everyday because partners are not supposed to feel _this_ way towards each other.

Despite her new revelation of how dangerous these feelings are, she still has the overwhelming urge to see him, talk to him. She knows neither of them have the courage to really do anything about their _thing _because they don't want to ruin a perfectly good partnership and friendship. Maybe, that is what's bothering her the most; the fact that she wants and needs him, but fears she can't have him.

After constantly dialing only part of his number, she finally gives in and calls him. He picks up after a couple of rings, "Hey Kensi. Miss me already, huh?"

She can already picture that cocky smirk on his face that she used to hate so much, but now smiles at. "Shut up Deeks," she jokes, "What are you up to?"

"Uh, going out for some drinks with Callen and Sam. Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, just wondered if you wanted to come hang out. It's okay though."

"Actually...that sounds a lot better than hanging out with them. Don't want to ruin their bromance. I can have drinks anytime, but my partner calling me up and wanting me to come over? That's a rare event that I'd be stupid to pass up."

She tries to hide the huge grin on her face even though there is nobody in her apartment to hide it from._ It's not like the people on the television can actually see me. _"You're never going to let me live this down, are you?" She asks, knowing the answer already.

"Of course not! Do you need anything before I head over?"

"Nope." _Just you._

She hears the phone click signaling the line has gone dead. Twenty minutes later the knock comes at her door and the smile fades to be replaced by her biting her bottom lip out of nervousness; one feeling that shouldn't be there at all. _Badass Blye does not get nervous with this stupid schoolgirl crush_. Especially when it's a crush that can't be anything more than just that.

"Chocolate milkshake and a box of Twinkies for you." He says as he hands her the items and plops down on the couch. He tries his best to drink some of his own milkshake but it's too thick so all it does is make his face look really weird. She has to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing at his failed attempt because it makes him look adorable. _Too damn adorable. _

"Hello to you too. Make yourself at home." The sarcasm can clearly be heard in her voice as she turns to shut the door.

He watches her as she walks to sit beside him. His eyes never leave her figure even when she starts flipping through the channels. The grin and him staring is all just to get on her nerves and he knows it is working because it always does. Finally, Kensi gives in, "What do you want Deeks?"

"You missed me." He simply states.

"I was bored. Don't get so happy about it. Plus, I'm out of ice cream and even though I said not to bring anything, I knew you would."

"You're a terrible liar. You know that right?"

"Whatever. Are we going to watch TV or what?"

"Well, when you put it that way, we could –"

"No. Don't even finish that thought."

"But you didn't even know what – "

"Answer is still no."

"Fine. Board games are out of the question. TV it is then."

"You know you weren't thinking board games Deeks so don't try that."

"Oh, Ms. Blye, what did you have in mind huh? Actually, it was board games...like naked twister."

"And there is it. All intentions are revealed. You went there." She laughs when she probably shouldn't and hopes her partner doesn't see her blush. If he does, thankfully he doesn't mention it.

They drop into comfortable silence watching one show after another. Occasionally, Deeks tries to subtly reach over and steal a Twinkie from the box that's missing a couple, thanks to his partner. Then, Kensi slaps his hand away but he pouts and she gives in. By the end of the night, both milkshakes are completely gone and over half the box of Twinkies has already been eaten.

It's been four hours since he walked through her front door and neither really wants to get up, but he knows they both need to sleep. Plus, he is dying to take Monty to the beach and go surfing in the morning. He slowly drags himself off the couch, jokes about how she needs her beauty rest, and dodges the expected punch that comes his way. He begs her to head to the beach with him tomorrow so she can see his awesome surfing skills and she laughs saying, "You doesn't have any skills, but I can enjoy the view of the real surfers." Both of them know she will be playing with Monty most of the time and she won't really be watching anyone except him.

When he finally leaves, she climbs into bed and receives a text message before she can even close her eyes. "_Be ready bright and early tomorrow morning, Sunshine! Monty gets mad when you run him late. Oh, and wear that favorite bikini of mine. You know which one. ;) Night partner."_ Kensi knows exactly which swimsuit he is talking about and the weird part is, none of it bothers her at all; especially when she sees his reaction the next morning when she actually listens to him and wears it to the beach.

**Chapter one is done! Chapter two to follow soon. This probably could have been a one-shot but oh well. Reviews and PMs always welcome. :)**

**For those who are reading my other story "In This Together", I'll try best to get it updated by the end of this week or the beginning of next week.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to all the reviews and followers of this story. Everybody said it was a cute/fluffy start, which is what I was trying to make it. Just wait until you read this and future chapters though. Ya'll might start to hate me. Change of rating because of a couple of curse words. Sorry if they offend you.  
**

**Disclaimer: Do not own NCIS: LA. Therefore, I unfortunately do not own the characters either. :(**

**Chapter Two**

It's been two weeks since that night with her partner. And after the time at the beach the next day, the terrorists and criminals decided to increase their stupidity by causing more dangerous situations that would hurt the public. When they finally get a break, everyone is either tired or busy with prior commitments. She can't even find Deeks, which is extremely unusual. _He must have left early._

Instead of sitting at home after several stressful days, Kensi thinks tonight is the perfect night to go out to a club, dance to some crazy music with some random guy, and maybe drink a little. Going out, having fun was what she needed and she planned to take advantage of the weekend. So when Kensi arrived at her doorstep, she quickly stepped in, dropping her clothes along the way before jumping into the shower. Thirty minutes later, she was leaving her place in an outfit that is sure to catch some kind of attention.

Dancing in the club now, Kensi realizes maybe she should have asked someone to come with her because those drinks she's had are hitting her system a little quicker than they used to.

The guy dancing with her seems nice, but nothing makes him stick out. There's no piercing blue eyes, cocky smirk, or shaggy blonde hair that she has found she's recently attracted to. He certainly can dance, which is a plus compared to her partner. However, being able to dance to party music isn't a specification on her dating profile.

The song ends and he buys them two more drinks. She thinks his name is Brody or something similar. To be honest, it was kind of difficult to hear him over the music so she just smiled and introduced herself, "name is Charlene."

They sit at a table casually chatting about everyday life. Brody is an engineer for a big company, has a nice house, two cars, a dog, and enjoys playing football in his spare time. He is smart, makes good money, loves animals, and is athletic so for any girl it would be a perfect catch. Just not for her.

After dancing and talking to him for more than an hour, he asks if she wants to get coffee some other time. _Oh, he's a gentleman too – totally skipping over the "how bout we take this back to my place" line._ She politely declines because there's no possible way she could lead him on. It wouldn't be the right thing to do. Brody smiles before replying, "it was nice to meet you Charlene. I hope he realizes just how lucky he is." _Wait a minute. Is it really that obvious?_ She nods and he walks away just as easily as he approached her when she walked in the club.

Now, the only thing on her mind is calling _him_. She has had way too many drinks to be driving anyways so technically, it wouldn't be her calling just to hear her partner's voice, it'd be to call a designated driver.

Kensi steps outside of the club to drown out the loud music in the background. The temperature has dropped a surprising amount so it's a little chilly in Los Angeles. The bouncers that originally let her in are still at their post near the door.

Taking a short walk to the end of the building, Kensi quickly dials the number she knows by heart. His phone goes to voicemail after a few rings but she doesn't let that bother her. She waits a couple of minutes, taking in the scenery around the area and watching the couple walking hand in hand to the movie theater another block down. _If only they knew how dangerous this world really is._ She tries his cell number again and smiles when he finally picks up, "Hey Kensalina. I was just about to call you. I've got to talk to you about something. Sorry I missed you the first time, by the way."

"Deeks, I need you to pick me up."

There is no twenty questions as to why she needs to be picked up or who she is with, just a simple, "Where at partner?"

Kensi tells him and he pulls up to the curb about ten minutes later. He looks tired, but that's nothing new. He's dressed like he came from somewhere important which makes her wonder what she really interrupted when she originally called him.

"You're late." Kensi says once she's buckled up in the car.

"What? I was one minute later than the time I told you."

"I'm joking Deeks. Would you get moving?"

He grins at his partner and her slightly drunk attitude. It's pretty amusing to watch actually.

She leans the seat back and falls asleep rather quickly in his car despite him accidently running over a few potholes. They arrive at her house and Kensi is snoring loudly in the passenger seat. Deeks tries to wake her up by pushing her arm, but he only gets a murmur of something incomprehensible. Thinking it's best not to risk any limbs by reaching into her purse, he lock picks the front door and turns on a light inside the house.

He jogs back down and slowly opens the car door, making sure she isn't leaning her head against the window. Deeks attempts to nudge her again but she starts snoring even louder, if that's even possible. _God, she is going to wakeup the neighbors. Dogs are going to start barking soon knowing my luck. _He's got to get her out of his car somehow so he does the one thing that knows will work, "Fern, if you don't get up, I'll have to carry you inside."

"Alright, I'm moving." She yawns.

He stands out her way as she slides out of his car somehow managing to walk into her house without stumbling too much up the pathway. It could be because of the drinks or the heels she is wearing. Maybe both. She doesn't really care though.

Deeks follows her inside to make sure everything is okay. Kensi plops down on the couch while he stands at the doorway. He can finally see what she is wearing and it makes his breathe catch in his lungs. _New favorite outfit._

"Look Kens, I really need to tell – "

"Can you help me take off this damn heels please? They're killing me."

"Yeah, of course." He responds. Deeks kneels in front of her trying carefully to pull off the heels that look like that could break an ankle if she takes a wrong step. "That dress, uh, makes you look –"

"Uncomfortable. It really is."

"I was going to say sexy, but uncomfortable works too." _Man, I should just suck it up and tell her she's beautiful. Crazy. Absolutely perfect._

Kensi smiles at her partner's comment. Her eyes are getting heavy and she knows she should go to bed, but really doesn't want to move. Plus, Deeks is there so she fights against the heaviness of her eyelids. _Ugh, I'm never drinking again._

"Seriously, we need to talk about something. It's bad timing. I have no choice though." He stutters. "LAPD is, uh, calling me –"

"Why are you always here? You always show up when I call, no matter what." His partner blurts out.

_Why won't she just let me tell her damnit?! _"Wait, what?" He questions. It only takes him a minute to understand what the totally random comment was. "Kens, you know why."

"Deeks..." She warns. His sudden confession somewhat sobers her up. Kensi is still intoxicated, but she knows they never talk about _this_, about their _thing._ They keep their feelings to themselves and that's how it has to remain. For both of them. _It's for the best._

"I know. We are partners which means nothing will come of this. You'll probably forget I everything I tell you by tomorrow anyways."

"You can't feel this way." _I shouldn't feel that way. _The sad and disappointed expression displayed on his face almost breaks her heart. "You hate me now, don't you?"

"I could never hate you Kensi. I just hate myself for falling."

Deeks drops his head in defeat, knowing there is no point in talking with her now. She watches as her partner slowly walks to the front door. He doesn't even bother turning around once he's out of her house.

Walking towards his car, his fists are clenched so tight that his knuckles are turning white. He is aggravated at her and himself. They are both so damn stubborn that neither wants to talk about everything that's important between them. _Why the hell is it so hard to talk about serious things? It shouldn't be this fucking difficult. _


	3. Chapter 3

**There are a few curse words in this chapter so be warned. Don't know if it bothers anybody. I'm fully prepared for the hate that comes my way after this chapter. Bring it on! ;)  
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**Disclaimer: The only thing I own from all of this is the idea. Oh, and the mistakes. Those are mine too.  
**

**Chapter Three**

The first thing Kensi notices when she opens her eyes is the extremely bright sunlight shining through the curtains. She feels the pain from her insane migraine and realizes she's wearing the same clothes from last night. Looking at her watch, it's only a quarter past eight so she gets up, quickly grabbing two pains pills before dropping out of her dress and walking in the shower.

Fifteen minutes later, she jumps out and dresses in the most comfortable clothes she can find. The next thirty-six hours are surprisingly filled with a mix of food, stupid television shows, and sleeping. The time goes by faster than what she would like, but luckily, her migraine has completely disappeared.

When Kensi wakes up Monday morning to prepare for work, she's a little worried that she hasn't heard from her partner all weekend. It's unusual because even when they fight, he always calls after a few hours. She remembers their conversation, the words she didn't allow him to say, and the important information he tried to tell her but never getting the chance. Kensi tries not to worry too much about the whole situation. _Maybe he went on a surfing trip to get a break from it all._

Strolling into OSP, it's oddly quiet and everyone is working on paperwork. After checking the gym and gun range, she finds her partner is still not there yet. She isn't concerned because he's come in late more than a couple of times. When the clock strikes fifteen minutes pass the start of the workday she finally speaks up, "Guys, has anyone seen Deeks?"

Callen looks between her and Sam with a confused expression. "He didn't tell you Kensi?"

"What are you talking about?"

"LAPD called him back for an undercover operation. He's been under since Saturday night. Won't be back for a couple of weeks probably. You sure he didn't mention anything?"

"No." _I didn't give him a chance to._

"He'll be back before you know it Kens. It won't take long and then he'll start bugging you again." Sam states.

* * *

It turns out to be four weeks before they hear anything._ Obviously, LAPD sucks at estimating time for undercover operations._

Hetty walks into the bullpen after an easy Friday. "Ms. Blye, how is Mr. Deeks doing?"

"I - I don't know. Isn't he still undercover?"

"He's been back since Wednesday. Your partner hasn't called you?

Kensi looks down and shakes her head, a little more than disappointed that she hasn't heard from Deeks after all this time apart. _God, I really screwed this up._

Callen and Sam share concerned glances with Hetty. They all know something has been different between the young agent and LAPD detective, but nobody ever says anything about it.

* * *

Kensi had planned where she was heading as soon as Hetty told her he was home. She is pissed that he didn't call, but on the other hand, she kind of understands why he might not have wanted to.

Now, when the time is finally here, she is extremely worried at how he might act, how she might respond. They haven't seen each other for a month and he left when there was unresolved tension between them so she doesn't know how he'll be.

After ten minutes of sitting in her car, she gains the courage to actually walk to his door. Kensi softly knocks and when he opens the door, it's her this time that forgets to breathe.

"Hey partner." She murmurs. _Why is this so hard? Oh yeah, you broke his heart._

He blocks the entrance leaning against the doorframe. He doesn't look mad, but it appears he isn't happy either. "What's up Kensi?"

"You going to let me in?"

Deeks seems apprehensive even when he steps aside and closes the door behind her. He just stares at her while she stands, fiddling with her thumbs. He can admit to himself it's good to see his partner especially after the recent undercover assignment. However, there are some things he didn't really want to deal with right after this assignment and his partner is one of those things.

"There something you need?" He asks when she still doesn't say anything.

"You didn't call. I wanted to make sure you where okay."

_God, she sounds so weak, so unlike my partner. _Deeks wants so bad to grab her and say he is sorry for everything but he needs to hear her say it, say what she's been hiding even from herself. "I wanted time to cool down Kensi."

"Deeks, you always call as soon as you're done. We always meet somewhere to grab some food or a drink afterwards. Hetty said you got back Wednesday and I hadn't heard anything until today."

"I don't know what to tell you other than I needed some time. I was going to see you Monday at work anyways. What's the big deal?"

_Because I missed you! _"Nothing. Forget I said anything." Kensi snaps.

She turns to leave because, to her, he obviously doesn't realize what he has done wrong. He quickly grabs her arm to spin her back around to face him.

"Hey, talk to me partner." His voice now sounds a lot more caring, like her old Deeks.

"It's just everything has changed. Your assignment was two weeks and it went on for a month –"

"I can't predict how long assignments will last Kensi."

"- and you left without saying a word. No note, no text message." _Ugh, I sound like one of those clingy girls. Damn him._

"I tried to tell you that night and honestly, I didn't think you would've wanted to hear from me after what happened before I left."

"I didn't know what you wanted me to do or say that night. I still don't."

His frustration returns and he lets go Kensi's arm. Deeks faces away from her as he runs a hand through his hair, trying to figure out how to respond. He settles with going with the no-holds-bar method because he's too exhausted to go any other route. "How bout you actually fucking admit you feel the same way? How bout we stop dancing around our 'thing' and you acknowledge that we should be more?""

_Didn't see that coming. _"I don't and we can't." She argues.

"For a federal agent, you are a horrible liar." His back is still towards her, trying his best to school his expression. He can't let her see the hurt in his eyes.

"And for a detective, you suck at detecting. I don't feel the same way Deeks." She knows it's a low blow, but she can't take it back now. _Too late for that_. "Please, can't we just go back to being partners?" Kensi pleads.

Deeks swirls around, anger clearly visible now. If it is possible there would probably be steam coming out of his ears. The laugh that leaves his mouth is frightening, to say the least. "You know what? We can do that. No problem partner! I'll treat you just like my first partner treated me at LAPD. That's what you want right?" She nods and he continues. "Alright, here's how it goes, here's what I had to deal with." His voice is getting louder and louder but he doesn't care. Not anymore. "Outside, in the field, we have each other's back. In the office, we talk about work. Nothing else. Once that clock says it's time to go, that it's the end of the day, we are done. There is no hanging out, movie nights, or calling me up so I can save your ass from a creep at the bar. Call Sam or Callen for that."

His partner looks like she is about to start crying but he is absolutely tired of fighting against all of it; the partnership and the friendship that could be more, should be more if she would let it.

"Sam and Callen are partners and friends. They hang out outside of work." Kensi protests.

"You're right. However, you said you wanted to be just partners. No friendship involved."

"I didn't say that. Deeks, please, don't do this."

"This is what you want Princess. As we all know, you always get want you want. You get to choose the radio station, the car we drive, bar to drink at, movie that gets watched, and even the food we eat. It's clear that Badass Blye wears the pants in this partnership. You want no feelings involved, right? Well, this is how it has to be then."

"I just –"

"Oh, and that means no jealousy from you. There can't be any rude comments to me about the girls I date or sleep with. I won't say anything about your so-called adventures either."

"But –"

"I'll see you on Monday partner."

"Fuck you Deeks. You're such a jerk." Kensi exclaims.

"Oh please do baby girl. It's what I've been waiting for. You are a coward Kensi." He yells when she slams the door shut.

He probably deserves a hard slap across the face, a punch to the gut, or maybe even a kick in the nuts for how he yelled at her. Until she stops driving him insane with her rollercoaster of emotions and she admits they should be more, the only way he can keep his feelings for her in check is to build walls up. He has to force her to hate him._ The one thing I've tried my best to prevent is happening. I didn't even say the words and it's ruined everything I have worked so hard to gain._

* * *

Deeks is so pissed off that he's about to slam his fist into a wall, decides against it though once he realizes his hand could easily break. Instead, he changes into running clothes and leaves the house, not even taking Monty with him.

By the time he arrives back home, the sun has already set for a while now and the temperature has dropped. Deeks can't eat because of the nauseous feeling and so he hops into the shower, not bothering to put on any clothes as he falls into bed. The only thing on his mind is how much he's dreading Monday morning.

* * *

She drives home so fast that the streetlights look like a blur of colors. Actually, it is probably the speed mixed with the tears falling from her eyes.

Kensi has been gripping the steering wheel so tight her hands are sore but she doesn't care. She is furious with him, with herself, and the whole situation._ He couldn't just keep his feelings to himself._ She can't bother turning on any lights, grabbing some food, or even taking a shower because all she wants to do is collapse on her bed.

Kensi Blye doesn't cry over a man. Not even Jack. She sucked it up and built walls. The same walls that her partner slowly knocked down. But now, she can't stop crying because she's made the biggest mistake yet; pushing away the one man she loves.

**Side note: I know I really am making Deeks look like a complete jackass but I promise it gets better. He is one of, if not, my favorite character. The way I am describing him just happens to fit my story. Reviews are appreciated! Thanks to the followers!  
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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: In the television industry, criminal justice shows are considered especially entertaining. In Los Angeles, the dedicated writers who create these particularly amusing NCIS: LA episodes are members of an elite squad known as Shane Brennan Productions. These are their characters. – dun dun – **

**Chapter Four**

Deeks spends his Saturday surfing, drinking, and flirting. The weather is pretty good so he chooses to catch some waves before the beach gets packed with tourists. Later on he goes to a bar that he's sure his partner won't be at. He flirts with several women even though only one is on his mind. By the end of the night, Deeks successfully picks up a girl and takes her back to his place. _Just like old times._

The next day, he wakes up a little after eleven but his bed is somewhat warm on the other side. _Shit, she's still here. _His feels like someone has taken a jackhammer to his headand his muscles are sore. After he puts on some boxers, he walks into the living room and sees the woman standing in the kitchen in one of his shirts. She's staring out the window, enjoying the view from his third floor apartment.

He walks up beside her to start fixing some coffee, smiles, and settles with a simple "Hey, you what some coffee?" _What is her name? Stacy? Becky? No, how about Jessica?_

"No, I'm good. You surf?"

_Nope. I just think the surfboards are pretty._ "Uh yeah. I'll be right back. I have to go do...something." He stutters.

When he returns from going to sit on his bed to calm his nerves, the girl is looking at the pictures on his fridge. "Who's this? She's pretty."

"That's my partner."

"Partner?" _Ugh, when is she leaving. Why the hell did I drink last night?_

"Yeah I'm a cop. Look, about last night, I was just –"

"Trying to get over her." The woman states.

He runs his hands through his hair out of habit. "That obvious huh?"

She nods her head and goes back to his bedroom. When she returns a couple of minutes later, she's dressed in her own clothes. "The girl always knows. If you ever move on, give me a call." She says after she leans up to kiss his cheek and hand him a piece of paper with her number on it.

He doesn't feel anything other than regret as she walks out of his apartment. Deeks knows he shouldn't have taken her back to his place, but he was so pissed at his partner that he didn't even think about what he was doing until it was already too late. The rest of the day is spent trying to get rid of the migraine and he only moves from the couch if he has to use the bathroom or take Monty out.

* * *

On Saturday, Kensi wakes up with red eyes and a stuffy nose. She hates that she was weak enough to cry over him, but his attitude surprised her. His 'conditions' to their partnership was what scared her the most. He is –was- her best friend and she just lost that.

She eventually gets out of bed to take a shower before grabbing some clothes to relax on the couch. She doesn't even feel like going anywhere but when her mother calls, she can't turn her down. _Mom will know what to do. They always know what to say._

That afternoon she spends time over at her mom's house eating food, talking, and watching movies. Even though they have been apart for such a long time and there are still things left unsaid, Kensi feels she can still get advice from her. Eventually, she breaks, "I don't know what to do. He wants more and it can't happen. We are partners. Feelings like that get us hurt in the field."

"I'm assuming this is Deeks we are talking about. How many times have you told yourself that?" Julia asks.

"What? I haven't –" _kept count. Actually I kind of lost track. _

"Yeah, you have Kensi. You can deny it all you want, but the truth stands that you care about him more than you let on. Would you have trusted anybody else to protect me a couple of years ago? Did you tell anyone, other than him, about me and your father?"

"Well Callen and Sam know. Hetty knows."

"First of all, Hetty knows everything so you didn't have to say anything. Callen and Sam only knew about it after you told him. You have known them a lot longer and yet, you told Deeks first."

"But, Mom –" Kensi argues.

"It's complicated. I get it. Don't you think it's dangerous feeling the way you are now and still working together?"

"He's being a total butthead about it though." _And I've turned into a five year old. Awesome._

"Butthead?" Julia chuckles. "How are old you? You're being stubborn. Just like your father was, by the way."

After three movies, then lunch and dinner, Kensi leaves to return home. Her mother gave her a lot to think about; her partner, career, and future. _What the hell am I going to do? _She decides to call it a night, not even wanting to bother to start contemplating everything now.

On Sunday, she decides to make it more eventful. Kensi heads to the gym to work out and feels a little better when she gets hit on by a couple of guys. _Still got it. _After heading back to the house to shower and grab something to eat, she leaves to go to a beach she hopes Deeks isn't anywhere near. Not only does she try to tan, but she also works on her newfound hobby of surfing. _Thanks to my annoying partner. _Three hours later she calls it a day, picking up dinner at one of her favorite food trucks.

* * *

Monday morning arrives way too quickly than either of them would like. However, neither wants to call out.

Everyone is already there, reading the newspaper or looking at their computer, when she walks into OPS. "Hey guys."

Callen glances up from the paper and responds, "Hey Kensi."

"How was your weekend?" Sam adds.

"It was okay. How about you Deeks?" She replies. _I'm really just asking for it aren't I?_

He stops typing on his computer and looks up only so she can his charming smile. "Actually, it was pretty great."

"Yeah, he came in here all excited. Must have picked up a girl or caught some awesome waves." Sam teases.

The smirk never leaves his face until after he says, "a little bit of both." Deeks glances at his partner to see the sadness on her face as she sits down at her desk. _This is what you want Kensi. All you have to do is say it._

The loud whistle from upstairs comes before she has a chance to talk to him.

* * *

There is a new case for the team, which means the partners breaking off to investigate things separately. The result, she predicts, will probably be awkward silences or heated arguments between her and her partner.

When they leave, Deeks doesn't even bother asking to drive. He just slides in the passenger seat and keeps his hands together on his lap.

She tries to be nice and offer for him to change the radio but he glares at her. "No need to start now partner." He snaps before turning to stare back outside the window.

They arrive at the crime scene and talk to the officers. Deeks gets the crime scene turned over to NCIS while Kensi finishes asking the grieving wife the usual questions. It doesn't take long for Callen and Sam to show up once they've checked their sources.

Fifteen minutes later, they are breaking off again to track down a couple of leads Eric managed to give them over the phone. _More silence. Great._

"Deeks, can we just talk?" _I swear I'm starting to hear crickets from somewhere._ "Look, I want to apologize for –"

"Nope," he interrupts, "has to be about work. Who do you think did it?"

"I don't know yet. How are we supposed to talk about our situation when you won't let me say anything other than about work?" Kensi replies.

"You giving in already?" Deeks smirks.

"What? No, I'm –"

"Remember Friday when we talked? You see how that ended up. I only want to admit you're wrong. Tell me our 'thing' is more than what it is." _Well what is used to be._

When she doesn't answer, he gives up even trying anymore. _No point in it anyways._ The rest of the day goes by as a mixture of interrogating suspects, looking at evidence, and speaking to people who knew the victim. By the end of it, the suspect is caught and justice is served. _Yet again! _

He leaves as soon as the clock hits the end of his workday, not saying a word to anyone other than Hetty as he walks out with his bag on his shoulder. Callen and Sam see it while sitting at their desk and turn to Kensi who just shrugs. Nobody murmurs a word until they all leave for the night and even then, it's only simple goodbyes.

**Side note: Don't know about ya'll, but I'm pretty impressed with myself for that disclaimer. I thought it was clever. Probably will keep it as my go to now. Anyways... there will be obviously more than four chapters. I was going to end the story one way but changed my mind. Update soon hopefully. Reviews are appreciated. Thanks to everyone reading.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: In the television industry, criminal justice shows are considered especially entertaining. In Los Angeles, the dedicated writers who create these particularly amusing NCIS: LA episodes are members of an elite squad known as Shane Brennan Productions. These are their characters. – dun dun – **

**To the guest review asking if the chick is going to get pregnant, I haven't mentioned another chick that I can remember. I'm assuming you mean Monica but this has nothing to do with that episode. That being said, hope everyone enjoys the chapter! :) **

**Chapter Five**

Almost two weeks has passed and there are already rumors going around. The usual cheery detective all of a sudden going quite was sure to set off something. The rest of the team tries their best to stay out of the situation but it's hard when the tension between the two are so obvious.

On Wednesday, Callen hears that Kensi is getting tired of Deeks' babbling. The next Tuesday Nell overhears two people whispering that Kensi hurt Monty. That same week, on Thursday, Sam had to stop himself from almost hitting a guy for saying the partners slept together and it went bad.

They are all sitting at their desks when Sam finally gets aggravated enough to say something. "You two, what's up? Shaggy never shuts up and now he doesn't talk. Kensi, you look really tired, like you could drop any minute. Talk." He demands.

"Stay out of it Sam." Deeks warns.

"No. This whole thing is messing with the team. Figure it out. Now."

"Fine. Why don't you ask –" _Ms. Indecisive over there._

"Ms. Blye, in my office please." Hetty interrupts.

* * *

"Hetty, I'm fine." Kensi states.

"It's pretty obvious you're not. Everyone can see that."

She sighs, knowing there is no way she can hide it from her boss. _Queen of mindreading. _"Deeks doesn't want us hanging out anymore. He, uh, he says we are to be strictly professional because I won't admit that our 'thing' should be more than what it is."

"Should it be something more?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I can't lose him Hetty." She mumbles.

"That is what's holding you back? Fear of losing him? Kensi, we can't predict whom or when we lose someone. It's one of the unfortunate and unpredictable events that everyone has to go through at some point."

"I know. It's just...what if it doesn't work?"

"It's not working right now is it? I'm not trying to pressure you into something but if you two don't solve your issue, I'll be forced to send him back to the LAPD. This situation is causing a disruption in the office and I can't put my agents in the field when there isn't an understanding between everyone." Kensi nods and begins getting up to walk away when Hetty confesses "I brought him here for a reason Ms. Blye. That reason wasn't to just be our liaison."

Kensi returns to the bullpen to find Deeks has left his desk. Callen and Sam are staring, expecting her to say something. All she can do is sit down and begin filling out another file that needs to be completed.

Deeks ends up at the firing range because he needs to let off some steam. He would go to the gym but it's more occupied than usual. The workday has barely just began and he is already wanting to go home or surfing. _Anywhere would be better than OSP right now._

After firing off two full clips he turns to see Hetty walking into the range with him. _Well this is going to be great now that the ninja is involved. _She doesn't say anything to him but stands to the stall next to his. Deeks isn't surprised when Hetty pulls out her own gun to begin practice shooting at the target. He watches his boss until she's done with her clip and she takes the protective gear off.

"Impressive." He says, referring to the target hanging in front of her stall. "Looks like you still got."

"I never lost it Mr. Deeks." His boss states.

He laughs, "of course you didn't Hetty. You're not really in here for target practice though are you?"

"I've heard there are some problems between you and your partner. You want to explain."

"If I say no you'll probably kill me so...I told her how I felt. Well, actually she didn't even let me say it."

"And that's what has caused you two to stop talking?"

"Eh, I might have kind of went off on her. Kensi stopped by this past Friday and things escalated. I told her she should just admit our 'thing' is more. Then she said she didn't feel the same. Honestly, I don't know how she thinks she can lie to me after all this time."

"You've had disagreements before or am I wrong?"

"No, you're right. Kensi said we should act like partners so I told her I'd treat her the exact same way I got treated by my partner, which was strictly a professional thing. There was none of that 'being friends' thing. She called me a jerk, I called her a coward, and here we are."

"I know this is a big problem Hetty. I get it. It's my fault, but I know she feels the same way. We've been partners for almost five years, flirted around, and when I'm finally about to admit everything to her, she backs away. Kensi's the one that's been encouraging it this whole freaking time."

"So what are you going to do?"

Deeks takes a deep breath, obviously frustrated and confused about how to approach Kensi again. "I honestly have no idea about what should be done. I don't want to be the guy that leaves her especially when I'm the one that loves her the most." _And I just admitted that I love my partner to my boss. Don't think this day could get any better. Although, knowing Hetty, she probably knew even before I did._ "I just don't know how much longer I can be her partner when my feelings are getting in the way of the job. What would you do Hetty?"

"I know how much you care for Ms. Blye but I also see what this is doing to you. Do what is best for you Mr. Deeks and when she is finally ready, you'll be the first to know. There is no doubt in my mind that says she doesn't feel the same way."

* * *

The talk with Hetty did help a lot because now he's thinking more about what's best for him. Deeks has always been outsider and even though he really likes it at NCIS, it wouldn't be extremely hard for him to pack his things. The worst part about it would be leaving his partner and for her to be assigned with someone else. He doubts she wouldn't be able to take care of herself since she's being doing it way before he came along. _After time apart, maybe she'll come to her senses._

This is the toughest decision of his life. It's even more important than switching from a lawyer to a cop. This decision is what effects his life after the job, the future he wants after he retires. If Deeks leaves, she'll either hate him for being like the others or she'll recognize she loves him just as much as he loves her. And if he stays, he's the one that suffers. He'll have to sit there from across the bullpen knowing she is not but five feet away and he can't do anything until she's finally ready. Obviously, the one time he did push Kensi, it didn't work out the way he'd hoped because he hasn't got the girl yet.

* * *

"You. Me. Now" Kensi insists as soon as he sits back at his desk. He almost falls out of chair when she tugs on his arm but manages to luckily catch his footing. She drags him to the kitchen area, instructing everyone else to leave immediately. Once they've all scrambled out Kensi finally lets go of his now sore bicep. "We need to talk about us." She demands in a voice that, when they became partners, scared the shit out of him. _Spitfire Kensi is back! Bout freaking time._

"Okay."

"Wait, what do you mean 'okay'?" No argument about that just being partners bullshit?"

"I said okay Kensi. I'll meet you at your place after work. I need to go though."

"Where are you going?" She questions.

"I've got to take care of some stuff at LAPD. I promise I'll be at your house." He responds and then grabs his jacket to leave. Callen and Sam watch him go again without saying a word.

Kensi walks between the sets of desks and mutters, "don't say anything" before heading to the gym.

* * *

She rushes home in case he is already at her place. When she arrives his car is nowhere in sight so she decides to clean random places throughout her messy home. The knock comes a little after eight, which is later than what she expected. _Wasn't going to be doing anything anyways._

He's nervous, hands stuffed in his pockets as she opens the door. "Hey." Deeks stutters. _What the hell is wrong with me? This is a normal conversation...that could change my life. Nervous it is._

She steps aside to allow him through the doorway but he only takes a couple of steps inside. "You alright?" Kensi asks, shutting the door and then walking over near the couch.

"Totally fine. So what did you want to talk about? Did Hetty talk to you by chance? She did because I remember her asking you in the bullpen. Nevermind. To many things going on right now. What was I talking about?"

She laughs at his rambling because it's always entertaining to watch. However, it would be better if it wasn't before a serious conversation between the partners. "You want to sit down, have a beer?"

"Nope, I'm good. So...where do we start?"

"Uh, I guess I can say what I have to say first? Look, Hetty said some things today that got me thinking. Deeks you are my partner and best friend. I don't want to jeopardize that, which is why I can't feel the same way about you."

"It's back to this huh? I'm not asking you to say you love me Kens. I know you feel something towards me." He replies in a gentle tone to avoid another argument. She shakes her head, her eyes already beginning to tear up. _This is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. _Deeks starts slowly walking towards his partner but doesn't break eye contact. "How can you say you don't feel the same when I can tell your pulse is speeding up, heart is racing, and hands are shaking?" Stopping right in front of her, he brings a hand to cup her jaw. "Don't do this to me Kensi." He whispers.

"Deeks, please stop." She mumbles. When he leans in, she backs away and quickly wipes the tears from her face. His hand drops down to his side like it weighs a thousand pounds. "Why are you so adamant about us being together?" _Damnit! Why can't I stop crying about him?_

"I want this because our jobs are unpredictable. I would rather be able to say that I gave us a chance than to not try at all. That last assignment I had my cover somehow got blown and if backup didn't arrive when it did, I would be dead Kensi. That Wednesday I got home, I decided I was signing the papers Hetty gave me to join NCIS. On Monday, after everything from my operation died down and I recovered a little, I was going to ask you on a date; praying to whatever gods are out there that you would say yes. Then you showed up at my door and I didn't know what to do. Everything happened so fast. Before I knew it, you were walking out."

She's standing there somewhat shocked at his confession and can't even form a complete thought let alone say anything. He takes the quiet as an opportunity to tell her everything. _Go big or go home right?_ "I want us Kensi. I know I can make you happy. Before all this mess, I did that. I want to take you out on dates. I want," he grins, "to buy you cheesy gifts that you think you'd hate but secretly think are cute. God, I want to make love to you at night and then be able to kiss you good morning. Even though I know you don't need it, let me take care of you. I'm in love with you Kensi and I have absolutely no clue what to do about it."

"What – what happens if it doesn't work out?"

"It will. I promise to do everything in my power to prevent us from breaking up. Whatever it takes. I'm begging you Kens. Just say it before I have to go undercover again. Give me something more to hold onto."

"You're going undercover again?"

"That's all you got out of that?" Deeks sighs, getting a little annoyed. "Yeah, I am. That is why I left work early and arrived here late. After our argument last time I didn't think it would be right to sign the papers until everything settled down so I'm still LAPD and they unfortunately can call me back whenever they like."

Kensi's trying her best to calm herself down, the fiddling with her thumbs isn't helping much. _It's too much all at once._ "When do you go back? How long this time?"

"Sunday morning. Bates says it'll probably be at least three months. Not completely sure though." He states. "Just give me a reason to say no."

"I can't take the risk of losing you if we were to break up. Neither of us can predict that it won't happen. You're too important to me and I can't be anything more than a friend right now. I'm sorry Deeks."

He feels defeated again but still agrees with his partner. "Me too Princess."

She feels absolutely horrible and knows she's the one to blame for all of this. It's pretty obvious to see he's loved her for a long time, but she still isn't ready to be in that situation. It's a lot to work out: a serious relationship while maintaining a great partnership. Kensi will change her mind eventually. However, by the time she does, will he still be there? "Can we at least have a beer before you leave for another assignment?"

Deeks smiles but it never really reaches his eyes like it used to. "Yeah, that'd be great."

They spent the next hour talking about television shows, new movies coming out, and anything else they did before all of the drama. Deeks walks to the door, turning around to say goodbye when surprisingly his partner's arms wrap around his torso. He hugs her back, taking the time burn this memory into his brain. When she lets him go, he murmurs "Don't worry Fern, I'll be back" and she smiles just like the first time she heard it.

As soon as Deeks walks out of the apartment, Kensi breaks down again. _God it's going to be a long three months without him._

What she doesn't know though is that he's already got a plan to win her over for good. _Now's the time to put the idea to the test. Hope it doesn't backfire or I'm screwed._

**Side note: I feel like there should be Team Deeks and Team Kensi shirts for the last couple of chapters. Here I am reading other stories and everyone is bringing them closer together while I'm tearing them apart. This chapter went a tad bit crazy. Now time to start writing the next one. Update will be as soon as it can. I promise it'll be Densi endgame. Reviews are appreciated! Thanks to the followers, favorites, and comments. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: In the television industry, criminal justice shows are considered especially entertaining. In Los Angeles, the dedicated writers who create these particularly amusing NCIS: LA episodes are members of an elite squad known as Shane Brennan Productions. These are their characters. – dun dun – **

**To the guest review: I apologize. You're right. I did mention the random girl. I'm too young to forget that stuff but I did. My bad. However, I can assure you, that he isn't getting her pregnant. And yes, having sex is one way to get pregnant lol. The other review said why did Kensi not admit her feelings? I originally was going to do that and end the story but then I thought I'd make it more complicated. Writing this is what I do to avoid homework so why not drag it out? :) Sorry for the long reply. Enjoy the chapter! **

**Chapter Six**

The bullpen is deserted and the shadows from the bright sun come through the windows of the building as he enters early Saturday morning. It's peaceful, relaxing, something he isn't used to when he usually walks in here. The desks that his fellow team members sit at are covered with paperwork and pictures but when looking at his desk, it's now completely empty. Nothing except for the cup of pens remains.

The noise of small footsteps pools him out of his daze. He smirks when she comes to greet him. "Are you sure you want to do this?" She asks.

"I'm positive."

"I'll put the paperwork in."

"How long until she's assigned a new partner?"

"I'll bring in one after a month. She's going to hate this you know? What happens if this all goes wrong?"

"If wouldn't be Kensi if she didn't hate something I did. And if something goes wrong...well I'll worry about it then."

He hands her two envelopes and leaves the building that has been home for the past several years. _It's going to be a long few months._

* * *

One month after Deeks' departure...

It's been quiet since he's been gone. The silence in OSP is something that hasn't been there in a very long time and now feels uncomfortable. Callen and Sam talk a lot but it's not the same. Nothing is the same.

"Ms. Blye, it's time."

"But Hetty it hasn't even been that long. Until then I'll be fine on my own. Plus I didn't get someone else last time he was gone."

"I know you can handle yourself, but rules are rules and they say you need a partner. Last time Mr. Deeks was back after a month and that's why you didn't get somebody else."

"Just be nice Kensi and Deeks will be back in no time. It's like last time." Callen states.

Two hours pass before her new partner finally shows up. Hetty introduces him as "Agent Trey Young." Kensi shakes his hand when he offers but only because she's trying her best to be polite. Agent Young seems like a nice guy, nothing sketchy in his file at least.

Hetty tells Trey to sit at Deeks' desk, which pisses Kensi off but she bites her tongue. _There's no point in arguing._ She continues to do paperwork and only talks when spoken to first. Being stubborn is something she has proven to be the best at.

She surprisingly warms up to him after two weeks. Trey explains to her he's not there to take Deeks' place, he's just "following orders." Kensi understands that because she's been in that same position herself. Agent Young tells her during one of their stakeouts that his wife calls everyday from across country to tell updates on the baby. "It's due in a few weeks." He informs Kensi. The smile on his face is so big it looks like it almost hurts and the light in his eyes when he talks about his family could probably light up a room. In some ways, he kind of reminds her of her father.

That night, Kensi goes back to her apartment with a bigger desire to have what Agent Young has. She wants to arrive after a long day at work to see a gorgeous child and a husband that's excited to see her. The smile that remains on Trey's face makes her realize there are things important besides the job. She can change her future and all she's go to do is say the words. _One month down, two to go._

* * *

Two months since Deeks has been gone...

"How are things going Ms. Blye?" Hetty asks after an easy day at work. Everyone else has already gone but Kensi decided to stay behind to finish some extra paperwork.

"It's going okay. It is kind of weird not hearing someone constantly talk though. Guess I've gotten used to that."

"Do you miss Mr. Deeks?" Kensi shrugs in response. "Lieutenant Bates gave me a courtesy call today. He said our favorite liaison is doing well." Hetty informs her female agent.

"That's all you can tell me, isn't it?"

"Unfortunately is it Ms. Blye." She replies, walking back to her desk.

She has been trying not to think about him as much because she gets frustrated with herself. Most of the time, Kensi doesn't succeed at it though. She could have asked him to stay and he would have, without a doubt. Now that he has been gone a month longer than his last mission, it really hits her how much he's managed to worm his way into her life these past five years._ Two months down, one to go._

* * *

Three months following Deeks' absence...

The team has just finished an extremely tough case. The suspect they were after escaped because Kensi and her partner lost a visual. When they finally found him, he'd managed to get the drop on them, putting a bullet in Agent Young's arm. The result was Kensi putting two bullets in the suspect's chest and he was dead on the scene. Luckily, after closer inspection at the hospital, they realized Trey received only a graze. However, he'll be out for a couple weeks. Good news is that during those two weeks he's being sent home so he'll get to see his newborn baby, Paul Alexander Young.

Callen, Sam, and Kensi arrive back at OSP to give final reports before the weekend hits. Nell and Eric were already sent home because their part of the case was done. Hetty walks into the bullpen after they've all settled at their desks. "I was told to give this to you after three months." She tells Kensi, handing her a closed envelope. Callen and Sam give her curious glances but don't say anything. Kensi immediately rips it open, noticing the familiar writing of her partner that's currently undercover.

_Dear Fern, if you're reading this then you can obviously tell I'm not back on time. Bates never gets that stuff right anyways._ _I know we left on weird terms but I want you to know that I will always do everything possible to come back to you. Never doubt that. We were partners first and I will have your back no matter what is going on between us personally. Oh, if you somehow haven't found it yet, I put a secret stash of candy just for you in that hidden compartment in your desk. The one that you think I don't know about. Hopefully I'll see you soon Kensalina. – Love, Your amazingly handsome and charming partner_

Kensi wants to cry and laugh at the same time. She only manages to smile to her teammates as she looks up from the letter. Deeks promised her he would come back and even though she knows it's impossible to guarantee that, Kensi believes him with every fiber in her body. No matter happens once he returns; she knows they'll be okay as partners, friends, or maybe eventually something more.

Hetty sends everyone home for the night, saying they've all done enough for the day. Before Kensi leaves she checks that hidden place in her desk and grins when she sees all her favorite snacks in there. _God I love him. Holy crap...I really did just think that._

When Kensi finally settles into her apartment for the evening she's almost too excited to fall asleep but eventually exhaustion sets in. _Three months down, how many more to go? _

* * *

He's sore, bruised, and tired as he drives through the gates. His paperwork has been approved and now the hard part begins. He's determined to make it through this to better himself, to prove everyone wrong. It's what he has been doing his whole life so why stop now.

The car door slams behind him and a man is already there to greet him. "Welcome sir. Let me show you where you'll be staying."

He follows the man along the sidewalk, noticing all the different activities going on around him. They arrive at his building and the man opens the door to show the room. "You start Monday sir. We were told to give you a couple of days to rest." The man says before he walks out.

He drops his stuff on the floor and falls down on the bed, sleep quickly taking over. _Three months down, two months to go._

**Side note: All these reviews give me new things to think about so thank ya'll for that. Don't know if I'll add them to this story but maybe another later on. I try to PM those who have questions so if I didn't respond I apologize. I really do appreciate the followers, favorites, and reviews! What do you think will happen...? I'll see if ya'll can figure it out. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: In the television industry, criminal justice shows are considered especially entertaining. In Los Angeles, the dedicated writers who create these particularly amusing NCIS: LA episodes are members of an elite squad known as Shane Brennan Productions. These are their characters. – dun dun – **

**To the guest review: I couldn't think of a way to bring Jack in this story but he is featured in another one of my stories that is not published. Sorry. :(**

**I am horrible at logistics so if this chapter makes no sense, I apologize. **

**Chapter Seven**

Four months since Deeks left...

This is the longest Deeks has been away on an undercover assignment and Kensi does not like it. Every single thing at work is getting slightly more boring. The conversations between the team seem to have the same ending, the cases are all similar, and the paperwork is so exhausting that it's starting to put her to sleep. The once aggravating partner is now the one she's grown used to hearing. He's the one that used to make the workday go by faster with cracking jokes or challenging her in the firing range. It is hard for her to admit, but Kensi misses Deeks more and more with every passing day.

"Kens, you alright?" Sam asks from across the bullpen, completely ruining the daydream she was enjoying to avoid paperwork.

"Of course." _Absolutely not._

"You're out of sugar aren't you?" The question just receives that ridiculous laugh Deeks usually hears when she makes a joke.

The team smiles at her like they know her secret so she quickly gets up to head to the gym. _He needs to get out of my head._ Kensi spends the next hour working out but it's not effective. She's still wondering where he's at, if he is okay, and when the hell he's coming back from that stupid assignment. _It shouldn't be bugging me this much. Right?_

When she returns to her desk after the workout and a shower, the team hears the loud whistle that comes from upstairs by none other than Eric Beale. "Got a new case guys."

Callen, Kensi, Sam, and recently recovered Agent Young make their way up to OSP, quickly taking their places around the center table. "A Marine was found dead in an alley this morning near Camp Pendleton, which is where he was stationed. His name is Corporal Matt Phillips. The local police department was first to get the call and has already handed it over." Nell informs the team.

"Okay, Ms. Blye and Mr. Young, I need you to go investigate the crime scene. Mr. Callen and Mr. Hanna take a trip to Camp Pendleton to speak with his fellow Marines."

"Uh Hetty, why are we all going when the crime scene is close to Camp Pendleton?"

"Because Mr. Callen, there is no need to keep Agent Blye and Agent Young here. It's going to be easier to solve this case with four agents out in the field instead of two. There is also this very important thing called backup, which would be useless if they weren't close by."

"Road trip!" Trey exclaims.

* * *

They arrive over an hour later and show their badges to anyone who asks. Behind the yellow tape they find the man in charge. "Agent Blye and Agent Young I presume." The man says shaking their hands. "I heard you two were coming. I'm Detective Baker. It's your crime scene now but if you need anything just let me know."

When Detective Baker walks away they begin questioning the few witnesses that are there. One man catches their attention because he seems more upset at Corporal Phillips' death than anyone else. Both agents show their badges again before Agent Young begins, "Did you know the victim sir? What's your name?"

The man clearly shows he's having a hard time holding it together. "Uh, name is Toby Stricks. Matt was one of my frat brothers back in college. We went to UCLA and he decided to join the military after graduation."

"Can you give us any information of who'd want to hurt Corporal Phillips?"

"When I saw him yesterday afternoon, he was really paranoid, constantly looking around to see if anyone was following us. Matt kept mentioning he had stumbled upon something that could end the careers of a couple people high up in the military. Never gave me the names though. I can't believe he was killed a few hours after I saw him."

Agent Young hands Toby his card thanking him for the help and telling him if he thinks of anything else to call. Kensi and Trey asks the remaining witnesses questions, but come up with nothing else.

"Alright, let's go. We need to find out what Callen and Sam know."

* * *

He has never been so sore in his life. Even in undercover work, when thugs were beating him, the pain wasn't this bad. He was working muscles he didn't know existed. Hetty wasn't joking at all when she said this was going to be tough.

They have been working him nonstop, every single day for the past month. Sadly, there is still a month left. _If I survive that long. _He is learning new fighting techniques to add to his arsenal, trying to speak one different language, and improving the other skills he already has. He's beyond tired but it'll be worth it in the end. _I hope._

The worst part of this current awful day is not only does he have to avoid the instructor's punches but also has to hide from the two people on base that don't know he's not undercover anymore.

He's been counting down the days for his return back , he misses the whole team; the random conversations, the ridiculous arguments, and even the jokes that are usually about him. But most of all, he misses her. _Four months down, one to go._

* * *

Fourteen hours later and the death of Corporal Matt Phillips is solved. It was found that Matt actually did have evidence on two of his fellow Marines. The Marines were selling drugs to teenagers while off base to make extra money. Matt saw them acting weird, followed them, witnessed a buy, and recorded the whole thing on his phone. Unfortunately, the dealers saw Corporal Phillips, confronted him the next night when he left the base, beat him, and left him in the alley. It was later found that the cause of death was internal bleeding brought on by the assault.

"That was a crazy case huh? All happened so fast. It was a good thing Corporal Phillips' phone automatically backs up everything to a server."

"Definitely. I can't believe they killed a fellow Marine."

"If they were distributing drugs they shouldn't have been considered Marines in the first place. It brings a bad name to everyone. The horrible part is they were selling to teenagers."

"I swear kids are getting dumber." Callen states while walking out of the boatshed. The team leader regrets it three seconds later when Sam and Trey give him dirty looks.

"G, are you saying my kids are stupid?" Sam responds.

"Of course not! I'm just pointing out that teenagers need to be worrying about prom or learning how to drive instead of buying drugs." He argues.

"You better not call my kids dumb. Michelle would kick your ass worse than I already do."

They all laugh and then Trey adds, "There is no way my kid is getting into trouble. I'm a federal agent and my wife is a teacher. Plus, she is literally a genius. There's no way he could be stupid enough to try something. Right?" He receives nothing except silence. "Guys, I'm serious. I shouldn't be worried right? Guys?" Callen, Sam, and Kensi hide their grins from the worried father as they arrive at their cars to head home.

* * *

One month later...

The bullpen is empty just like it was when he left. The sun is not up yet but will be shortly on this amazing Monday morning. It's quiet, calming, something he has definitely missed after the last five hectic months. His desk is covered with another person's paperwork, however that will be changing pretty soon.

A few more bruises are on his body but they come with the job. _That should be written when you sign the paperwork. _Even though he was fit before, he's gained more muscle from the training. His hair is a little longer, beard slightly thicker. He stuck out like a sore thumb at Camp Pendleton, receiving weird looks from people around the base, but it didn't matter. He wasn't there for a beauty show or to join the military. He had another job to do and now it's done.

"You look like you could use a haircut."

He jumps as the small woman walks up beside him. "God, you always have a way of sneaking up on me. How do you do that?"

"It's a secret. Now, there is a man waiting for you upstairs. I suggest you go to him for a trim unless you want to be mistaken for a homeless man." They both share a smile but before he turns to walk up the steps she says, "Welcome back Mr. Deeks."

**Side note: So I think it was obvious to what is/was happening with the main part of the story. I don't know. I try to be sneaky about stuff but am never good at it. Oh well. Anyways, one more chapter after this. I sound like a broken record but thanks so much for the reviews, followers, and favorites. Appreciate all of it! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: In the television industry, criminal justice shows are considered especially entertaining. In Los Angeles, the dedicated writers who create these particularly amusing NCIS: LA episodes are members of an elite squad known as Shane Brennan Productions. These are their characters. – dun dun – **

**Thanks so very much for all the reviews, favorites, and followers. I truly appreciate all of it. I think I went a little crazy with the dialogue, probably the whole chapter. Once I started writing certain parts, I just couldn't stop lol. Hope you enjoy the last chapter! :)**

**Chapter Eight**

Deeks has been sitting on the couch, waiting patiently for the team to arrive for their workday. The barber Hetty brought in made him look somewhat normal again. He's exhausted but yet so anxious that he can't fall asleep. So, he sits there...waiting.

Eric and Nell are the first to show up to OSP. Deeks says hello from the couch and causes Eric to jump, almost knocking Nell down. _Hetty is wearing off on me! _ The small tech analyst quickly runs over to give him a hug, obviously excited to see his safe return . They talk about what Deeks has missed since he's been away and eventually Nell and Eric head up the stairs to prepare for the rest of the day.

The always carpooling duo of Callen and Sam arrive almost an hour later. Walking into the bullpen, Deeks can hear them already bickering about something. "Did you two get married while I was gone?"

"Hey G, look what the cat dragged in! Where have been...surfing?" Sam asks.

"Uh, everything but surfing actually."

Callen walks over and shakes his hand. "Welcome back Deeks. You look -"

"Amazing? I know." He asserts, interrupting the team leader.

"I was going to say different."

Sam and Callen take the seats at their desks, Deeks once again is waiting nervously for his partner to appear but of course, Agent Young is the next to show up. _She really is going to be the death of me._

"You must be Marty. It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Trey Young." He states as they shake hands.

"It's just Deeks. Marty makes me sound old."

"Makes you sound like an adult." Sam adds.

Deeks lets out a fake laugh, trying his best to remember he's happy to be back with the team, Sam's teasing included. "Anyways," he starts, "I heard you were the best."

"I didn't do too bad at the academy." Agent Young confesses.

"You graduated first in your class. I think 'didn't do too bad' is an understatement. Hetty told me you just had a kid too. That's awesome."

"Yeah, couple of months ago. Best thing that has ever happened to me besides getting married. You have any kids?"

Deeks hopes the disappointment doesn't display on his face when answering. "Nope, not even married. Maybe someday though."

Agent Young can't seem to think of what else to say after that so he awkwardly takes a seat at his temporary desk. Deeks decides to be his typical self and steals Kensi's chair at her junk-filled desk. _Where the hell is the top of this thing? _He tries to keep his mind on other things by listening to the conversations around the bullpen but his thoughts are focused on only one thing, one person.

Twenty minutes later he hears the door of the building open, signaling his partner has finally decided to come into work. His heart immediately starts beating faster in anticipation. He wants to go hide somewhere and run up to her at the same time but he doesn't move. When she walks through the entrance of the bullpen, Deeks swears his heart stops. _She always has managed to have this affect on me. Damn her. _He knows now that even if Kensi never admits that she feels the same way about him, he's done everything possible to be there for her, to show how committed he is to her like nobody else has.

Kensi stops dead in her tracks and just stares when she sees him at her desk. _I'm not in love. He's my partner. I'm not in love. I am completely screwed._ "Hi." She mutters.

"Hey."

"You're back."

"I am." _Great job Deeks. Answer her with one or two words. You're an idiot._

The rest of the team stays quiet, observing the weird situation between their liaison and female agent.

She sighs and heads towards her desk. "You going to move out of my seat?"

"It's good to see you too. You sure you don't want to sit on Uncle Marty's lap? I've been told it is comfy." He replies with a smirk.

"Don't make me hit you already. Up. Now." Kensi demands.

Deeks quickly gets up from behind her desk to stand uncomfortably in the middle of the tables. "So...how have you been?" She only gives a shrug of her shoulders in response. _This is going totally great. Kill me now. Please._

All of a sudden Eric and Nell come trotting down the stairs as Hetty strolls into the bullpen. "Now that everybody is here, I have a very important announcement to make." _Is she pausing for dramatic effect...? This is weird. _"I just got word and would like to officially congratulate our newest Special Agent." Hetty hands him his shiny new badge and service weapon. "Congratulations Mr. Deeks."

"You got the special part right." Sam mumbles.

"Haha aren't you hilarious!" Deeks sarcastically comments. Everyone, including people he has never met, come to say congratulations, shake his hand or give him a hug. However, the only person he's waiting for a reaction from is his partner and she has yet to move. When the excitement dies down, he still doesn't know what's going in her head because Kensi isn't even looking in his direction anymore.

Deeks walks in front of her and holds out his hand. "Come on Kens, lets go talk." She completely shocks him when she takes his offered hand and doesn't release it until they've walked out of the building. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." He states.

"Is...is that where you've been all this time? At the academy to become an agent."

"No, not of all it. I did have an undercover assignment, which surprisingly ended after three months. I did not lie to you." Deeks admits, taking a few steps back and putting his hands in his pockets.

"But you didn't tell me the full truth. I thought you were undercover all this time, worried that you didn't have any backup. Turns out that you weren't even there for the past two months."

"I didn't even know I was deciding to complete the training until after I signed the application. Wait that probably doesn't make any sense. Look, I resigned from the LAPD, handed in my papers to Hetty before I even left and told Bates that was my last mission. I am done with the police department Kensi."

"Deeks, the academy is fifteen weeks long. That's almost four months. I know I'm not the best at math but how does three months on assignment and then four months at the academy add up to five?"

"Hetty called in a favor so I could train at Camp Pendleton. It was cut from fifteen weeks to eight weeks but with the same amount of work. I barely had time to sleep or eat because it was so intense. I wanted to do this though and I couldn't be gone for a total of seven months so I busted my ass to keep training time at two months. I really thought Callen and Sam were going to see me while they were on base last month. Guess I got lucky there."

"Why didn't Hetty tell me or why didn't you call me? Hell, what was with the note?" Kensi argues.

"Hetty didn't say anything because I begged her not to. And I...I don't know why I didn't call. All these different things ran through my head of if I should tell you or just wait and I guess I choose the wrong one. I'm sorry partner. The note was for reassurance. Plus, I knew if you ran out of sugar you would be a grouch to everyone. I had to save them."

"Whatever. I can't understand why Hetty even listened to you after everything that's happened between you and me. Especially with the whole fake firing incident a couple years ago. She saw how I reacted back then."

"This isn't her fault. I can't help the fact that I'm extremely charming." Deeks smirks and attempts to reach for her but she slaps his hand away. He pouts, "Come on Sugarbear, don't be like this."

"You're ridiculous." She huffs.

"I missed you too Kensalina. Now, how about a hug?"

"Nope! I'm required to be upset with you, part of the whole lying to your partner bit."

"Alright. Completely understandable. However, lets be honest, is there ever a time when you aren't upset with me? I don't think so." He responds.

"You do have a point. You know I'm going to make you pay for this right?"

"I wouldn't expect any less. Seriously though, are we going to be okay?"

"Yeah, we will be...after you refill the stash in my drawer, the one you shouldn't know about. Laundry will be done for longer than a month this time. Outerwear only, of course." Kensi teases.

"Of course." _It's only a matter of time before she slips up on that part!_

"Then there's taking me out to dinner, stocking my freezer with ice cream, buying –"

"I get it! Geez, just make your list." Deeks exclaims.

"You know," Kensi begins as she slowly walks towards him with a mischievous smile and a spark in her eyes. "I haven't punched in you five months. My hands have been hurting me lately, maybe that's why."

He starts circling around the cars in the parking lot, trying to avoid her. "Kens, don't do this." He pleads, his hands raised for protection. "The hand pain is all in your mind. Noodles partner, noodles! Please, no punches!" She is getting closer so he takes off running into the building, heading straight for the bullpen.

"Agents can take punches Deeks." She yells, jogging after him through the doors.

"Why can't you just slap me on the ass like you usually –" Deeks shrieks as he stops right in front of Hetty. _Oh God, I'm going to die._ Kensi almost slams into his back as she comes up behind him, potentially making this horrible situation even worse.

"What were you going to say Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asks.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I start tomorrow right? I'm going to head home. Callen and Sam it was great to see you both. Tell Eric and Nell bye for me. Trey it was nice to meet you. I'm going to shut up. I'll be leaving now." Deeks stutters, turning around to face Kensi and receiving a glare that could possibly kill him if he stares at her eyes too long. _Uh oh._

She reaches to pinch him as hard as she possibly can on the skin just above his hip, managing to hide her assault from Hetty. His eyes scrunch up tight as he tries so desperately not to wince. "Have fun on your day off." Kensi growls. Deeks nods and she finally lets go, grinning as he quickly walks out of the building. _I still can put fear in him. _

* * *

She's halfway through filling out several reports when she receives a text from him. "_I'm bored."_ Kensi can already imagine the pout on his face as he whines.

"_Go surfing."_

"_I can't. Somebody pinched my side and now it hurts a lot. It's turning different colors. I might be dying. Come save me!"_

"_Stop being so dramatic Deeks. You deserved it."_

"_She snuck up on me! Whatever. How about I make it up to you?"_

"_What do you have in mind?"_ Kensi types back, immediately regretting it as soon as she presses send.

"_You know you shouldn't set me up like that partner. Anyways, I was thinking dinner. Me. You. Fancy Restaurant."_

"_Why do I feel like you're up to something?"_

"_I promise I'm not up to anything. Well, spending money on you but that's about it. I'll pick you up at seven. Okay?"_

"_Fine. Now leave me alone. Some people actually have work to do."_

He doesn't respond to her last message, trying his best not to upset her anymore. The rest of their day goes by extremely slow. Deeks really could go surfing but he wants to catch up on the sleep that he was deprived of for the last five months. Kensi, on the other hand, does paperwork because they never receive a new case. When the clock eventually hits for the end of the workday she says goodbye to Trey, have a safe trip home, and thanks for having her back. Finally, she's able to leave, heading home to get ready for dinner with Deeks.

* * *

He has been sitting in his car outside of her apartment for the last fifteen minutes, attempting to not seem so eager. The reality of the situation is Deeks was preparing as soon as she said yes. _I really am the girl in this relationship. _When the time hits, he makes his way up to the door and knocks lightly. He chuckles after hearing a couple of things drop inside, which were followed by a few curse words.

She's slightly out of breathe opening the door, hopping in place, trying to put on her other high heel. "Hey Deeks."

_Holy...crap... _"Hi. You, uh, you look gorgeous." He stammers and she blushes. "You ready?"

Kensi grabs her keys, locking the door behind them. Deeks holds out his arm for her to grab and she hesitates. "Wait a second, is this your way of asking me on a date?"

He starts to nervously laugh. "No, this isn't my way of asking you out." A moment later Deeks drops his arm, his tone becoming more serious. "This can be whatever you want Kens; a date, two partners catching up, or me beginning to pay you back. It's your choice. I'm not pushing anymore." They share a smile when she grabs his arm and they head to the car.

The pair sits in a restaurant that's way too expensive for his paycheck but neither says anything about it. _Thank you Hetty!_ The banter is the same as it used to be before all the arguments started. It's like nothing ever changed between them.

Two hours later they are finally managing to leave from the restaurant to head to Kensi's apartment. "Thanks for the dinner. Now add nineteen more to that and the dinner part of payback will be done." She jokes as they pull into a parking spot.

"You are going to be the death of me. You know that right? I'm going to start having to borrow money from loan sharks and I'll never be able to pay them back. They'll kill me all because I can't afford Kensi Blye's eating habits."

She hits his leg causing him to yelp. "My hand does feel better now. I was right earlier!" Kensi smirks. "Stop being a baby and come on."

She unlocks her door and he follows her inside. As soon as it shuts, Kensi grabs for one of his hands, intertwining their fingers. Deeks' gaze focuses only on that until she lifts his chin to look at her. He stares into her eyes, seeing the one thing he never recalls seeing before: openness. It is mixed with fear, desire, vulnerability, and even a little bit of love. "I did miss you. Every single day." She whispers. Deeks cups her jaw with his other hand and leans in, hesitantly brushing his lips against hers. When Kensi pulls him closer, he kisses her with more passion, trying his best to display everything he feels for her, everything he's been fighting for this whole time. They barely have time to catch their breathe before Deeks picks Kensi up and carries her down the hall to her bedroom, kicking the door closed behind them.

* * *

Kensi's laying on her stomach, arms under the pillow her head rest on, with a sheet positioned above her hips. The moonlight coming through the blinds is casting shadows throughout the room. Deeks is on his side, propped up on his elbow, running a single finger along the back of her spine causing goosebumps to rise along the exposed skin.

"You're staring again." She mumbles breaking the silence.

He lazily grins and leans in to kiss her shoulder. "That's because I still can't believe the most beautiful woman in the world is with me." Deeks explains.

"Yeah, your plan worked didn't it?"

"Wait, what are you talking about?" He asks attempting to act innocent.

Kensi sees right through it and glares at him. "I know you had to have a plan Deeks. You always have something up your sleeve. You'd leave, make me worry, make me miss you. Then you would come back after all that time away to prove your point of me being in love with you. It worked." Kensi states.

"Well I love you too. However, you give me more credit than you should. It wasn't all my idea."

She lifts her head with a questioning expression on her face. "Hetty?"

"Yep! The little ninja came up with almost everything except this whole part obviously. That'd just be gross."

"And how did she know I would fall for it? You said earlier she didn't do this."

He gives her the 'are you kidding me' look. "Hetty knows everything Kens and she does what she wants. I was told to go along with it right after I handed in my NCIS application. Apparently, Hetty was planning this for a while. Oh my God, she's like our Yoda! The criminals we fight everyday could be Darth Vader and his stormtroopers." Kensi sighs and her head falls back down to the pillow as he continues, "Nell and Eric would be C-3PO and R2-D2 right?" – silence - "Princess?"

"Deeks, shut up."

"But –" He begins but is cut off with a quick kiss.

"Go to sleep so I won't have to punch you again. We have work in the morning Special Agent Deeks."

Deeks kisses her one more time before moving to lie on his back, eventually falling asleep with a huge smile on his face. _I got the girl._

**BAM! THE END! What did you like? What did you hate? Opinions are all for future reference of course. ;) Thanks again! Now back to writing for my other story and paying attention in school! School is important right? I still can't tell after all this time. **


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